PRAYERS AROUND THE ZODIAC

ARIES: Dear God, please give me patience ... and could you do it right now?

TAURUS: Dear God, help me accept change, but let's do it my way.

GEMINI: Dear God! Who is God? Where is God? Why is God?

CANCER: Dear God!!! Why me?

LEO: Yes? Hello God...are you listening to me?

VIRGO: Dear God, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like You did the last time.

LIBRA: Dear God, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do you think is best?

SCORPIO: Our Father, forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors, even though the low-life scum don't deserve it!

SAGITTARIUS: Dear Lord, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times, help me stop exaggerating.

CAPRICORN: Dear God! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!

AQUARIUS: Dear God, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!

PISCES: Dear Lord, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation for Thy glory.